May 4, 2017 at 1:18 pm #4836
Welcome to Week One. I encourage you to peruse through the entries to see if my suggestions to previous students has some relevance for your life. As you progress through the weeks, you are welcome to come back to any of your previous forums and make comments if you like.
Scroll to the bottom to add your comments.
June 22, 2017 at 11:02 am #5164
I’m most proud of having written and published (I started my own publishing company to do so) my book, Gathering Strength: Conversations with Afghan Women. I never considered myself a writer, never wanted to write a book–OK, when I was 8 or 9 and had just fallen in love with reading I fantasized about being a writer with Anna as my pen name. (My middle name is Anne) I rejected that dream after struggling through English and typing classes and then totally forgot about it.
However, the book’s precursor, the Afghan Women’s Project came about because of an inspiration that I chose to follow. I faced discouragement when I lost resonance with my inspiration and began to believe my self-doubts. Also, the Peggy Kelsey I was at that time wasn’t a person who could have done the things I did in the subsequent 10 years. But, I continued with the Project and actively took steps to build my skills and confidence. Slowly, who I was at the beginning of this adventure transformed into who I am today.
I mostly stayed inspired while writing my book. I knew how to do that–just show up and write. My self-doubt re-emerged when I began to bring it into the world via publication which involved taking on something I didn’t already know how to do. What helped was connecting with my inspiration regularly, writing lists of my Tasks, and doing what needed to be done. Also, I focused on things I had control over rather than worrying about what I didn’t.
Be sure to check the box right above the SUBMIT button so that you’ll be notified when I and others respond to what you’ve written.
July 2, 2017 at 7:36 pm #5244
Hi. I’m now responding to Peggy K’s June 22 post about learning to connect with her inspiration and move forward. Perhaps in this course I’ll start considering something that I can get inspired about. I do have still-inchoate thoughts of getting into a volunteer project or teaching abroad eventually; perhaps these ideas can become
better-formed as I do the course. What I can take away from what you wrote, Peggy K, is the 2nd two parts of your 2nd-to-last sentence, in particular doing focused Task lists (with the capital T) rather than my usual endless listing of things to do. That will be inspiring!
July 2, 2017 at 7:50 pm #5245
P.S. This section was found with the link to “Week One’s Room” and I’m the only responder in it. Responses from others are in “The Introduction Room”. It wasn’t clear to me that I should be doing both. Both links are mentioned on one page “Transformation Community” near the end of Lesson 1 Getting Started”. Could there be always visible tabs for those important buttons? I’m still having heck navigating, will be glad when I get better at it!
Also, could you tell me what I am supposed to do with the box (after I do a comment) that is labeled “Tags”?
July 2, 2017 at 8:32 pm #5247
OK, I’m on 2nd part of Week One. Button to “Week One’s forum opportunities” took me back here. I’ve thought about my answers; writing about it may come later. It’s nothing super-enlightening, and I don’t want to post until I think it pertinent.
July 2, 2017 at 9:04 pm #5248
Will have to let rewards-system set-up idea gel a bit. I’ll report next week.
July 3, 2017 at 7:44 am #5249
Just so you know, your rewards system is a fluid thing. It doesn’t need to be perfect right out of the box. Think of some larger and smaller rewards that you might enjoy and go ahead and start keeping your log. At the end of a week of log-keeping, you can feel free to change your rewards. This whole course is about experimenting to see what works, not about trying to do it perfectly, especially here at the beginning. Don’t let perfectionism get in the way of getting started.
BTW, each lesson has a tab with a link to he Recovery Log, so it’s always easy to download a fresh one.
July 3, 2017 at 4:44 pm #5251
For rewards, I too, like music, playing with my dog, Felicity, reading my book club book, watching favorite tv program. I’ve signed up for an art class at Laguna Gloria beginning in mid-July. So getting together the needed items for the class. Drawing maybe added to the list. Frozen 100% fruit bar. Walking.
July 3, 2017 at 5:39 pm #5253
Peggy, it’s good to see that your rewards are enriching activities, and that your food reward is a healthy one.
July 14, 2017 at 9:55 am #5305
I need to process and “disappear” mounds of paperwork on my desk, and find a way to clear out this work as it arrives, not weeks, months, or even years later. My other goal will be to diligently and systematically choose, research, and pursue my next career.
July 14, 2017 at 11:26 am #5306
I see two issues with your first goal. One is sorting through old papers and second, dealing with incoming ones. each needs to be dealt with separately. You might try limiting yourself to only an hour a day on the old stuff (this will deal with its guilt-laden, never-ending aspect) and make sure incoming stuff is completely addressed before the end of the day. If you don’t have time to deal with all the new stuff, ask yourself how you can either utilize random bits of time throughout the day or which activities you can re-prioritize so that dealing with new papers becomes a top priority?
If you are procrastinating your career research, schedule yourself a daily set amount of time to focus on that. Put it on your calendar.
Check all of these things off your calendar when they’re done.
July 17, 2017 at 1:49 pm #5319
I pleased with doing two years of study in pursuit of the Swiss Air Transport Pilot license. I was motivated by the challenge and also saw it as a game. Paradoxically, taking the quizzes online during any spare time over a period of two years was a conveniently justifiable way to procrastinate on doing anything else.
July 17, 2017 at 2:10 pm #5320
You found a huge secret–viewing that huge challenge as a game.
One of the real-life issues with procrastination is that we all have many Tasks and a limited amount of time. When we do one thing, we’re delaying others. What can help is to make a list of the Tasks in front of you—ones in addition to the studying— prioritize them, and choose which ones you’ll do each day.
July 22, 2017 at 4:34 am #5356
Rewards – shopping, time off, music….
Task qualities – accomplishment, self-improvement, my own work (not tasks I perceive belong to others), interesting and/or fun. I have noticed the tasks I take the longest to compete are often related to my assessment of myself. Positive assessment feels like bragging about my self, something I learned (or misinterpreted) was wrong at an early age. I can easily see the greatness in others, not so much in myself.
July 22, 2017 at 9:48 am #5358
Hi, Mae, Great to see you here.
Time off is a great reward. Making a list of things you would love to do during that time off can be helpful when it comes to setting up your reward system in Lesson 3. And with music, it’s a good idea to choose a few special songs that you play only as a reward. After awhile, hearing those songs anytime will help you feel like you’ve accomplished something. That feeling of accomplishment can be very helpful in helping you see yourself accurately, meaning see your own greatness. When you do feel it, stop and savor it awhile. Breathe it in and let it radiate out through your body.
It’s so common to see great things in others but not be able to see it in ourselves. This forum will be a good (and safe) place to talk positively about yourself. From what I saw when we met, you have a LOT to be proud of. On the other hand, it seems like you may not have a feel for what is actually bragging and what is just acknowledging your good qualities or your efforts. I think one key is when you talk specifically about something you accomplished, such as, I passed that course and they told me I was great at this and that vs. I was the best and I’m really great at this.
July 22, 2017 at 10:29 am #5360
Mae, It might also be a good idea to practice talking about your strengths and accomplishments a bit in the introduction forum. 🙂
July 23, 2017 at 9:18 am #5361
building pigeon house
watching TV series
July 23, 2017 at 9:20 am #5362
These are very powerful rewards for you. YEA!
July 24, 2017 at 7:34 pm #5366
Hi, this is Mary, playing catch-up… I started week one a month ago, and had hoped my entries from then would carry over, because I finished all the tasks! But I don’t think they did. Then we got a week off, and I fell off the wagon. Week 2 coincided with a week at a retreat with no cell and little wifi, so I am well behind now.
So let’s see, I am playing catch up tonight and plan to go through the week 2 lessons before bed. Meanwhile, I will write a bit while supper is cooking.
Something from last year that I was proud of finishing: my gate. Now, it has not yet been installed because it is still sitting in the garage waiting on gilder’s paste and a wax coat. So this is a mixed success story. Last year I took a 2 weekend welding for sculpture class, and I decided that I wanted to make a gate. Most of the class made small sculptures, some really cool ones, but I wanted my gate. It was a lot of work for 2 weekends. It would have been very easy to take it easy, play around, dawdle, make some fun stuff… but I managed to stay on track, get hinges and weld them on, make a squared frame, get all my components that I had envisaged completed and welded together, event eh copper koi cut out, shaped, and brazed on. I was wrung out by the end, but am very proud of finishing it. Not so proud of having it still sitting in the garage waiting on the last steps before installation. My reward for this post, which is my re-entry to the class, and which I would have loved to wait and do… later… is supper. Then watch week 2. 🙂
July 24, 2017 at 8:36 pm #5367
Congratulations on your gate and especially for taking on something big that you really wanted to make. Perhaps hanging it might be a targeted Task during this course at some point? How does the idea of doing that feel? (exciting? overwhelming? scary? frustrating?) As soon as I suggest that, how does your mind respond?
August 5, 2017 at 11:02 am #5394
In response to today’s question, these are the top three issues I wish to work on:
1. Exercising daily. I always love how healthy I feel afterwards but I procrastinate so frequently that I rarely actually exercise.
2. Beginning work on my writing projects, which I am very passionate about but in reality have barely started. I would love to learn how to do this one thing that I really want to do.
3. I would like to improve my resilience with household tasks when I encounter obstacles. For example, in November I decided that I wanted to put beige curtains in a certain area of my house. I successfully added this to my to-do list, measured the windows, selected the fabric, and had them custom-made. In Cambodia where I live, this is all very easy because there are many professional seamstresses in the market eager for work who have lots of fabric. Next, I discovered that there are no curtain rods available where I live such as the kind I had in mind. I also realized I would need a drill which I do not have. I gave up very easily and now in August I still have curtains in a box but not installed. I hope that I can stop procrastinating tasks when I encounter obstacles and be more resilient for finding a solution instead of procrastinating.
August 5, 2017 at 12:32 pm #5396
Great issues and very doable.
Exercise is something that I have to be strategic about or, like with you, it will never happen. Your first step will be to define exactly what, how, and when you want to exercise. What counts as “exercise” in your plan? For example, My exercise program consists of 1 hour of exercise 3x/week and 7-10 minutes of exercise 3x/week so that I get exercise in even on days when I’m really busy. And I also give myself a day off every week. For me, that’s important or I’ll burn out, but for others, every single day is important for their consistency. For the short exercises, I can do anything for 10 minutes, such as dance, walk, bike, whatever. I also count the 7-minute exercise app and make myself do at least one round of those as a short exercise once a week. What I’m saying is that when you decide how much you want to exercise, it’s important to also look at how it can fit into your life. You may want to walk to work every day and do the remaining part of your hour lifting weights or something else. Paint yourself a picture of your exercise process and write it down.
Make your writing goal more specific as well. Your goal can be an end goal, such as write a short story before the end of the course, but I think even better would be to set a time-spent-writing goal. Perhaps it’s good to write a short list of things you want to write, ie. particular stories or articles, and then decide how much time you’ll spend writing any of them. Make sure you clarify just what counts and doesn’t count toward this writing goal. When you choose the one thing to start your goal with, make sure it’s the thing you most want to write. What comes to mind first?
As for #3, you’ll be learning things in this course that will help you keep going in te face of obstacles. For now, you may want to focus on #s 1 and 2 using your Procrastination Redirect Log (One log for each) which you’ll set up in Lesson 3. Since you’re tackling two areas, don’t make your goals too difficult. It’s better to make them easier–and therefore more successful–in the beginning and ramp them up when you’re ready, than to make them too strenuous in the beginning leading to discouragement.
Don’t forget to have fun with this!
August 11, 2017 at 7:17 am #5423
This is all really great advice about making specific goals. Thank you for your reply!
August 11, 2017 at 8:25 am #5424
I am proud that an article I wrote about Spanish language speakers living in Hawaii was published in Hawaii Business magazine. At the time, I was reading a book called The Art of War for Women. I was so motivated to be a strong woman that my mindset helped me overcome the difficulties involved with the project. At present, I no longer feel insecure about whether or not I am weak or strong. This is good, but the other side of it is that I need a new source of internal motivation to do things that will make me stronger and happier, such as exercise, one of my current goals.
August 11, 2017 at 9:40 am #5425
OK, Melissa, Take a few minutes and imagine yourself in 20 years. (This is not what is your life plan, it is more what is one of your life plan fantasies.) What might you be doing? What might you be very competent in? What are the qualities you’d need to have in order to be able to be doing that thing?
By answering those questions, you may find your next personal power motivation.
August 12, 2017 at 12:02 pm #5427
August 12, 2017 at 12:21 pm #5428
My rewards (small accomplishments):
Reading cooking blogs
Making lime juice
Reading the next chapter or a short section of a novel
Listening to a favorite song on YouTube
Taking a short nap in hammock
Going on Duolingo
Today I used reading cooking blogs as a reward and I ended up reading one cooking blog for over an hour. It was still a good reward but I’ll have to use a timer like you suggested. At least I’m excited about cooking new things tomorrow!
My rewards (large accomplishments):
Rock climbing trip
Dinner in Phnom Penh
Going to the pool
Italian bookstore for coffee
Re-stocking on comfortable clothing items
August 12, 2017 at 3:32 pm #5429
Keep us posted on how it works for you.
August 24, 2017 at 10:57 pm #5581
Hi my name is Greta. I am a secret hoarder. I have lots of material possessions that simply attach me to a past that no longer exists. I procrastinate on letting go of these things, preferring to think “I will sell them on ebay someday” to actual action.
Sorry I am signing on late. But here I am now.
Glad to meet you.
August 25, 2017 at 11:46 am #5582
Hi, Greta, Welcome! So good to have you here.
Perhaps you could start by selecting 10 things that you’re attached to that no longer serve you and you need to let go. Then have a private good bye party or ceremony to bid them adieu.Then get them out of your house, maybe to your car so they are ready to take to where you will donate them. If nothing else, the saying of thank you for your years of service and now goodbye could be what you need. You could make a separate pile of more valuable stuff and hire someone to sell them on Ebay for you if you didn’t want to make a plan to put them up yourself.
August 25, 2017 at 10:00 pm #5583
Great idea! I have the first 10 things discarded now, and they are in a box to go (rain coming).
Now I will write about something I am proud of doing. I got my PhD 30 years ago. I was inspired primarily by the support of my committee, scholarships and fellowships. I also took 2 months leave of absence in Bali to write the first draft. When I got home to defend it, I received Adjunct teaching positions and support of faculty. What kept me going when I wanted to quit? I separated my office from my home life and worked 10 hours a day in the office. After that, my time was my own. What did I feel like having accomplished it? Exhausted and unbelieving. It took me a few month s to recover.
August 26, 2017 at 8:51 am #5584
WOW, I’m impressed!
What kept me going when I wanted to quit? I separated my office from my home life and worked 10 hours a day in the office. After that, my time was my own. This is a huge secret for those of us who work for ourselves or have some other huge project to do in an unstructured time frame. I’ve always treated weekends and holidays as just another work day. Donig that left me tired and eventually burned out. Once I started taking weekends at least, spending them doing weekend-y things, I suddenly felt like I had more time. Go figure. The only way I was able to write my book was to use this tactic. In my case, I had a weekly writing goal, and whenever I didn’t meet it, I had to write on weekends. The goal of having that free and clear time off inspired me to keep working when I’d rather not have, and I also enjoyed my non-working time more.
It sounds like you had a hard deadline and so had to push yourself that hard–10 hours per day is a LOT! For those of you who are writing books or have other long-term projects, it’s important to only push yourself a sustainable amount so you can avoid exhaustion and keep going.
On the other hand, putting yourself through something so intense and coming out of it well can be an inspiring memory that you can compare to other things you face. For example, when you have something huge, demanding and scary, you can always say Well, I got through THAT, so I KNOW I can do this.
September 5, 2017 at 12:00 pm #5649
My most recent accomplishment was the completion of my first book “Knowing Jesus Now” What kept me going was fear. Fear of failure kept me moving forward. Having a vision of completion was extremely motivating. Just the thought of completion created endorphin’s that made the process less painful. Once the book was published and I had a copy in my hand, reality hit that I could do whatever I set my mind to and knowing that fact made me feel amazing.
September 5, 2017 at 12:22 pm #5650
Lesson # 3 Non-food/alcoholic Rewards
List five large rewards
1. Attend Friday night swing dance class(big)
2. Visit an out of town friend (big)
3. Go to a concert (big reward)
4. Tell myself “Good Job”
5. Share completion with a friend
List 5 small rewards
1. Meet a friend for tea (small)
2. Walk in a new location (small)
3. Sit and think about the feeling of completion
4. Buy a new indoor plant
5. Thank God for every small and large job completed
September 5, 2017 at 12:47 pm #5652
Isn’t it interesting how fear of failure motivated you, and yet for other people it makes it very difficult to get started. The main thing is that you found a way to use your fear to motivate you.
Maybe what distinguishes the two situations is whether your fear was of failure to get the book done, and (and so your fear spurred you on) or whether your fear was of the book not being good enough/no one will like it. That second fear might have made it harder to start or work on. What do you think? Did you have a mixture of both?
Wonderful rewards! I wish you a house FULL of plants and lots of dancing.
As for your reward of Sit and think about the feeling of completion, I suggest that you want to go beyond thinking. You want to bask in the glow of completion. Feel your chest expand in gratitude toward yourself for completing it. Sit and FEEL your happiness.
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