Hi, Peggy,
You might try substituting interesting for shit. This is good on so many levels. As you say above, it’s not negative, but also I’ve found a lot of times that the thing I’d respond to with shit, actually turns out to be a neutral thing or even good. By saying interesting, it helps you look at what might be interesting about what happened, whether that is my role in it happening or creative ways of dealing with it.

It takes time to change one’s automatic response, but if every time you hear yourself say shit you replace it with interesting and then think for a moment about how it could be interesting, it will slowly develop into an automatic response. It worked for me.

I really like your new responses. They are kind and loving. They will be much more effective in the long run for making those changes you’re looking for. Congratulations!