This topic contains 14 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Peggy 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #4832

    Peggy
    Keymaster
  • #5315

    Peggy Davis
    Participant

    Clearly I’ll be changing my go to phrase/word (shìt). Not only is it negative, it has a negative impact on me and my mindset. As was suggested, I’ll respond to myself like I would respond to a friend or my granddaughter; that is a totally different response than I’ve been saying to myself. I will acknowledge that I am frustrated and perhaps discouraged, as I planned on have the assignment finshed. Then suggest taking a short break to walk, go outside for a few minutes and be grateful for airconditioning! I’ll consider ideas that might improve my approach to accomplishing my goal. I believe that taking instructional computer courses could result in being faster and more proficient in doing my assignments. It would also help me to feel better about my skill set.

    Some phrases I’ll say are as follows:
    Doing something new requirès new skill sets; when Learning something new, it takes more time than doing something I’m familiar doing. It’s okay that it is taking more time and more attempts.
    It’s exciting to be learning a new approach to PROCRASTINATION!
    You can do this
    It’s okay if you start over numerous times, all of it counts toward being the person I will be.
    (Çhanged the tense of the verbs in this sentence several times!!!!) I want to reinforce I am in the process of being who I want to be!

  • #5316

    Peggy
    Keymaster

    Hi, Peggy,
    You might try substituting interesting for shit. This is good on so many levels. As you say above, it’s not negative, but also I’ve found a lot of times that the thing I’d respond to with shit, actually turns out to be a neutral thing or even good. By saying interesting, it helps you look at what might be interesting about what happened, whether that is my role in it happening or creative ways of dealing with it.

    It takes time to change one’s automatic response, but if every time you hear yourself say shit you replace it with interesting and then think for a moment about how it could be interesting, it will slowly develop into an automatic response. It worked for me.

    I really like your new responses. They are kind and loving. They will be much more effective in the long run for making those changes you’re looking for. Congratulations!

  • #5317

    Lori Belk
    Participant

    Hi Peggy in the course (I think I’ll call our course coordinator “Peg”):
    I COPIED your post—because I like it so much, and I’m so short of time just now. I too have some automatic words to change!
    Haven’t had a moment to respond to Bill’s posts (which I’ve seen on my phone, but I will, soon!

    This last week was so impossibly full that I got behind. I’ve only done the first lesson of Week 3. Will tackle ASAP.

    Did Power Pose photo, not sure how to upload.

    –Lori

  • #5318

    Peggy
    Keymaster

    To add a photo, it first needs to be posted somewhere online. Then click the img button (for image) in the gray area above. A drop-down will offer a field for you to place the URL of the picture.
    Unfortunately, you can’t take pictures out of Facebook.

  • #5321

    Peggy Davis
    Participant

    Àppreciate your response and suggestions, Peggy. I’m realizing the majority of this is çhanging negative habits and looking at the believes driving the bèhavior. Ànother aspect I’m working on is not taking myself so seriously. I know my powerposse, and it is plàyful in addition to being ipiring. Lori,I don’t know how to share a photo link. This is unveiling anothér unproductive belief, I’m suppose to know. Your asking helps me realize, I too can ask. I have some very limiting believes, not truthful, and worry too much about someone outside of me, opinion.

  • #5322

    Peggy
    Keymaster

    Love that your power pose is playful in addition to being inspiring.

    With your upcoming art classes, it will be interesting to see how they go if you can focus on being playful and not worry about whether you’re creating “good art” or not. If you continue in that mode, as you learn the needed skills, you might end up with better art than had you been really serious about it.

    What else can you do to bring playfulness in your life? (Lesson 15 will also be good for you in that regard.)

    You and Lori are my first line of defense in finding mistakes to fix, so any issue you have is most likely NOT your ineptitude, but my overlooking something. Your questions and feedback help me a LOT.

  • #5399

    maepouget
    Participant

    Most effective methods of gaining courage…..don’t think about it. I have found that the more I think about something I am afraid of doing, the more I procrastinate…so I try to be a woman of action. Granted I do have to prepare for action, but I find if I break projects into small bits (especially for written tasks), work a short time and then put the project away for another day rather than spending hours ruminating, I get more accomplished.
    Another method, for speaking engagements or meetings when I am briefing leadership, is to remind myself that I am the subject matter expert (SME). As the SME I take on the role as teacher, something I enjoy, and my fear dissipates.

  • #5400

    maepouget
    Participant

    Some phrases I will tell my self when I make a mistake….I don’t tend to beat myself up when I make mistakes, I make too many mistakes to do that….favorite phrase when I experience an unexpected setback? I took orders to a ship in Norfolk to move in with my Mom (sister, husband (long story), dog, cat and the other cat) to be with Mom in her remaining years. Unfortunately, her Lewey Body Dementia worsened rapidly and she died three weeks after I moved home. Rats, I am disappointed I didn’t get to spend more quality time with her, but I cannot go back and rewrite history. So…I have to embrace the situation I am in and move forward. I have the opportunity to remember my mother by working with my siblings and her church in planning her funeral. The funeral will be an opportunity to get together with family and friends to remember Mom and I am already thinking about the good work I can do to improve the medical department on board the ship. “It is what it is.”

  • #5401

    maepouget
    Participant

    My favorite mistaken belief…I am lazy. Procrastination pay off is being in control and not doing what someone else wants me to do. Sometimes I have to reset and remind myself many of the tasks I procrastinate over are ultimately in my best interest and I have to change my perspective.

  • #5402

    Peggy
    Keymaster

    I love that you realize that being lazy is a mistaken belief of yours. What a load off your shoulders it must be!

    Can you think of other things you can do to be in control when someone tells you to do something you don’t want to do?

    Wow, your method of gaining courage by not thinking about it is something I naturally do, but without realizing it. I think I will put that in the course. THANKS! A real key to what you said above is knowing when something is done for the day so you CAN put it away until the next.

    And to expand on your role as SME, are there other situations where you might be afraid, but you can act (at least internally) as a teacher?

    …embrace the situation I am in and move forward. This is a major key to happiness. I hope the funeral is a good experience for you.

  • #5670

    My favorite tool for building courage is to fully analyze the situation to see if I am logically making the right choice. Also, I think it’s important to look at my motives for what I want to do. I try to calculate the best way I can if I am making the right choice in the best way. At that point even if it doesn’t go well, at least I know that I tried my best to make the decision.

    After reading some of the other responses, I am now considering that I might procrastinate between the time when there is something I have to do and analyzing the situation. So I will consider if it might be more successful to end procrastination by analyzing less.

  • #5671

    When I make a mistake I try to focus on forgiving myself.
    Phrases to use:
    I forgive.
    I should make a plan for how this can go better in the future.
    My goals are still the same.
    I should make a plan to try this in a new way.

  • #5672

    My favorite mistaken belief is that my task will take less of my time in the end if I procrastinate. For example, if I think I will spend two days on the task if I do it early then I will worry about missing my whole weekend. My favorite mistaken belief is that if I procrastinate, the same task will only take two hours of my life.

    I discovered an idea for success this week and it worked for me one time this week. I did the task early but I limited myself to a certain time period to work on the task, the same amount of time that I imagine the task would take if I procrastinate. In the end my task was not perfect, but I was in an improved position by doing it early instead of procrastinating. I also did not spend the whole weekend on the task.

  • #5673

    Peggy
    Keymaster

    Analysis can be an important step because once you have assured yourself that that you have made the correct decision, you can be confident in acting on it. But, as you say, over-analysis can be a procrastination trap. So the question becomes how do you know when you have analyzed enough? How can you judge that you have made the right decision? The answers to these questions may be different for every person and also different in different situations. What is it for you?

    Forgiving yourself is very important! And when you move into examining how you can do better next time, you are moving into the arena of redemption, another very powerful part of self-forgiveness.

    Mis-judging the length of time that a task will take is very common among procrastinators and also the rest of us. That’s what makes me want to procrastinate–thinking that my Task will take way longer than I want to spend.

    What’s true is that very often a Task will take as much time as you have available. So your trick of setting a time limit for your task was very smart. The next thing to look at will be how you can go about your task more efficiently so that you can do a great job with in that time limit.

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