Getting off the Rollercoaster
The morning after that reception I awoke with my new inspiration, something much more exciting and inspiring than my portrait and wedding photography business. But as the day went on, I began to wonder… how WOULD I show a more complete picture? What would that even look like? How would I find women to talk with me? Where would the money for this adventure come from? And even, who am I to take a break from earning money to pursue this wild dream, one with no concrete vision, and no guaranteed results?
By the end of the week, I’d almost talked myself out of it. But my husband and a few friends encouraged me to see what I could do, and where it would lead. Thus began a wild rollercoaster ride as one day I’d be ecstatic to learn that one NGO (aid organization) agreed to give me a place to stay in Kabul in exchange for professional photographs of their organization, and the next day, after having proposals rejected by other organizations, I’d be wallowing in self doubt and despair.
Thankfully, my coach at the time advised me to look at what I saw as my successes and failures as just digging for fishing worms. (yes, my father and I used to do this when I was a kid.) When I’d dig up a forkful of dirt, if there were worms I’d just put them in the can, and if there were none, I replaced the dirt and dug in a new place. NO BIG DEAL! I learned to handle the rejections by telling myself that I was just looking in the wrong place, and set about finding more fertile ground.